A few of my girlfriends are single and looking for a partner.
Since I haven’t dated anyone (asides my husband!) for a LONG ASS TIME, I get to live vicariously through my girlfriends in their dating escapades.
I even sometimes chat with the guys pretending to be my gf, but ONLY because my gf’s let me and specifically ask me for help with the texting. ^_^
It’s not a Cyrano de Bergerac situation – just a few flirty texts sent by or looked over by moi, the Dating Expert!
Just kidding, that’s not me at all!!!!
My gf’s are all successful people who want to date guys who are equally successful or more successful. As far as I can tell, they define success by having the trappings of success. Good job, nice car, nice house, etc…
I was disappointed when one gf broke it off with a guy she liked because he preferred to go on picnics with her or eat at home together, when she wanted to be wined and dined at restaurants. Their last conversation was actually a fight about that!
This particular gf is also wary of lazy guys who want her to support them financially. When the guy does frugal things, or talks about following artistic (read: non-lucrative) passions, it triggers her alarm bells.
She has a chip on her shoulder about that, so she needs the guy to step it up financially to show that he’s capable of… spending. The problem is, that is so fake!
So I was wondering, why does my sweet, level-headed gf meet so many guys who are so opposite of who she’s looking for?
And I came up with this:
She leads too much with her money.
If you don’t want to attract gold diggers, then don’t deck yourself out in gold! Cut it out with the designer clothes and the spendy dates and other stuff that screams out I HAVE MONEY THAT I AM NOT AFRAID TO SPEND.
Actually I don’t know because my only dating experience was as a student dating other students, and it was way more relaxed than this.
But I always had more money than the guys I dated. I mean, I just assumed I did because I worked 1-4 jobs at a time to put myself through school, which resulted in me having a 5-figure net worth; when most other students had 5-figures of debt. I had student debt too, until I paid it off BEFORE graduating, and STILL had a 5-figure net worth!
No one knew I had ‘so much money’ because I wouldn’t tell anyone or show it. Not because I was actively hiding anything, but because there are SOOO many more interesting things about me than what’s in my bank account! 😛
Okay so if I were my gf, I would sell all the ridiculous designer clothes, sell the big house, move to a small apartment within biking distance to work – and PLEASE DEAR GOD, trade one handbag in for ONE nice bike!!!! And then use the bike to look for hot cyclist men like this (but not him because he’s taken!):
I would do all of this not specifically for dating reasons, but to set myself up for actually *being* rich, not just looking rich. Which may position her with the confidence to date better people, since like attracts like.