Sexism and being a house husband in Germany


Now that Martin has quit his job, people have been making joke-y comments about how he’s a “Hausmann”. They are not being facetious, they just find it funny. Enough to have a chuckle about it.

Maybe I have no sense of humour but I don’t find it very chuckle-worthy at all.

I see absolutely no problem with a man being a ‘house-husband’. It’s not funny to me that a man would stay home to take care of the household while his partner (woman or man) earns the money.

Dividing the familial duties just makes practical sense, instead of having everyone do everything.

When I quit my job back in October, nobody said: “So you’re a Hausfrau now! HAHAHAHA!!!!

These preconceived expectations are not just spoken, they have very real effects.

We tried to get Martin onto my public health insurance. But there’s a rule against it if you quit. You have to wait 3-months, and in the meantime, pay for your own insurance while being unemployed.

But wait a minute!

When I quit my job a few short months ago, no one said this to me.

I was able to  jump immediately onto Martin’s health insurance with no problem. I didn’t have to pay anything myself. No problems cancelling my own policy either.

Apparently this was against the rules, but yet no one questioned us about it. We didn’t even know it ourselves.

Everyone expected me to be the house wife and as a result, the paperwork just flowed.

Yet when Martin tries to do the exact same thing, he is met with barriers.

We had to go to the Arbeitsamt to clarify whether they would pay for Martin’s health insurance or not. The lady there was prepared to tell us how I can stay under Martin’s policy, until Martin corrected her to say that I have my own insurance and that he’s trying to get onto mine.

In Germany, Martin trying to get onto my policy means I have a JOB and he does not.

She was so shocked that she asked us TWICE to make sure she heard right. Then said she didn’t know the answer and that we should call the toll-free hotline.

I mean, COME ON!

How come she knows how I can stay on Martin’s policy, but can’t answer how Martin can get onto mine? Why is it such a big deal that Martin isn’t working and I am?

I can’t wait to get out of this overly confusing, frustrating system!!!!!!!


When we move to Thailand, we can be insured for $30 per person per month!!!! It only covers emergencies but that’s fine for us. When we pay that little, we have enough to cover general check-ups out of pocket.

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